Friday, September 25, 2009


on the first day of hari raya

on the first day of hari raya about noon or a bit earlier -around elevenish (as some would say) we were enjoying our hari raya gathering eating all kinds of kelantan cookies and delicacies like tape beras and nasi dagang , and oh by the way nasi dagang belongs to kelate and so is nasi kerabu, or budu or akok and so don't terengganu dare to claim nasi dagang as theirs or petani malays of southern thailand claim the rest as theirs or else there would be serious 'repercussions' from us (just remember pendet issue hmmm?) - but as i was saying while we were gorging ourselves silly there was this assalamualaikum greeting from two indian looking white jubah clad long bearded guys at the door and today being an open door festive day we invited them in and as usual in our place, we always assumed that jubah clad foreigners can only speak arabic and so some of us hollered to bukhari, my youngest brother and a syariah mejistrate educated in jordan and the only person in our family who can speak impeccable arabic to come and talk to these guys. but turned out they could only speak a little arabic ...shuay, shuay...and i asked them if they speak english and one of them said yes....

and so i invited them in and invited them to eat our copyrighted food like tape beras and akok and nasi dagang...and while they ate i asked them who they were (turned out they were pakistanis from islamabad) why they came to kelantan and the english speaking guy said they came to seek donation to build a mosque in pakistan and people recommended them to come here because it is 'an islamic state' and i said yes , that's true. that's true...and i asked them what do they think of taliban? and their eyes opened wide and they exclaimed taliban no good, taliban terrorists! and i said no they are not, they are good people!

and they still persisted, no !taliban bombed mosques, killed people they are kaffir...they are kaffir from india coming to pakistan to become terrorists...and i said no taliban is good they fight the fucking americans, they do jihad...and sensing my 'angle' they softened and said yes real taliban is good but many called themselves taliban but they are really kaffir..they killed and bombed mosques... they are indians...and so i let it at that...and asked what do they think of osama ben laden...and to preempt whatever they wanted to say i said osama is good! osama fights for jihad...he fights the fucking americans... and so they nodded and looked anxious to go... and so i gave them ten ringgit....and off they went ...

not that i'm tight fisted or anything but i commented to my syariah court mejistrate, how do we know if these guys are genuine? there are so many fake donor seekers around...claiming to be jihadists from afghanistan, myanmar , palestine and the rest. they might simply collect the money changed the jubah to jeans and t-shirt and go and enjoy themselves at the thai cowboy town of sungai golok just 40 km away. but on the other hand who knows ? they might be genuine donation seekers. the mosque name is ali murtaza which is a very syiah name... which is another interesting point i would like to discuss with them but this is hari raya...we don't wan't to be too serious... most of us were only interested to just enjoy our copyrighted kelantan food after one long fasting month which wasn't really making us any lighter because we were pigging ourselves silly at night instead which defeat the whole purpose and spirit of ramadhan which is another story again.......

eid mubarak ...

Friday, September 11, 2009


reunion and friendship

friendship is a funny thing. the ones you made during your younger days usually last the longest. forget office collegues. they can be the best of buddies when you work togather. they may open their heart out to you, tell their darkest secrets and perversions but the moment they change jobs...woosh..gone. like rats out of an aqueduct, to quote life of brian . but those that you made during your school days are different. perhaps because we were more innocent then. we had higher tolerance for each others' stupidities and cruelties. we didn't understand what hurt means. we didn't take things to heart as much as we do with friends we make during our later years. and with the passing of time memories become all the sweeter as all the hurts we might have harboured would all be healed by father time.

and that's why i hate reunions. they kill old memories. and more likely than not instead of reinforcing friendship it can go wrong and we would be hurt by the slightest unintended slights. so i usually stay away from reunions. and looking at once sexy girl friends which you may or may not have fantasised and masturbated to and now looking like mishappen baloons don't help.

but here's another thing. with facebook , reconnecting with old friends that you have not met for donkey years suddenly become so easy. but this too, i tried to steer away from. occassionally i came across a few familiar names but i never invited any of them into my fb. almost all my facebook friends are virtual friends. it's interesting to to see some of these people making fool of themselves by spouting pseudo philosophies and making inane remarks . but this is no problem, because i have a very high tolenrance for stupidities. what i can't stand is fakery and wogism.

real friendship is almost impossible once you have reached a certain age. if you don't make good friends during you school days, well forget it...may be i'm wrong. i'm always wrong. i actually have some very interesting friends that i made post school days... but to say that they are friends that i'd die for, well, that's asking a bit too much. in fact i don't think i'd die for anything. i'm very selfish. just like all of us. we're all heartless....except those stupid ones who think they must save the world. why?

Sunday, September 06, 2009



sometimes i wonder... why can't we be like the singaporeans or the chinese ( in china ) or the vietnamese. these people's philosophy is simple: why give a fuck about politics? whoever rule the country is no concern of mine. if we can live reasonably well and have enough 'space' and lee ways to do whatever we like, then why worry? we're fine!. who gives a fuck what those criminals do in their parliaments or whatever they call the monkey house where they preside.

but i think i know the answer why we care about politics so much and why those people don't. it's simply because malaysia is - to use a singapore expression- a kiasu country. we think we are the best and comparable to the best in the world in everything. when the US admitted that they are screwed because of the financial blow-out, we say we are ok because we can manage our economy well.when other countries are in turmoil and their people are at each other's throats we looked smugly and say, look at us. we're multiracial like no other country in the world but look how we live peacefully with each other (and forgetting places like switzerland etc). when our neighbours are demonstrating and rioting all over the place we shake our heads and say, what kind of democracy is that? we malaysians practise real democracy. and there actually lies the answer why we're obsessed with politics.

the real problem with malaysia is this. since we are kiasu and want to beat the shit out of everybody we try to ape everybody that we think are good. we think the brits and the americans are good. they practise democracy. so we must too. so we practise democracy. a better way than the brit and the american version. but this version is like opening a door a little and allowing us to glimpse what is inside. and so we peeked in and we glimpse what freedom of expression is like. and we know it's good and so we ask for the door to be wide open . and here lies the problem. the door remains open just a little and our political masters say that's it . no more! and so we holler and shout and become obsessed with politics. we see that our masters are bastards but because the door isn't wide open we are quite powerless apart from shouting and hollering and becoming obsessed with politics.

but china or vietnam are diferent. they don't give a fuck. politics isn't the common people's concern. just go forth, multiply, make money , have fun. leave the governing to us. that's not your affairs. do this long enough and if you govern well (like singapore) , people will soon forget about politics and they will sleep well without getting their blood boiling about the affairs of the state. but we malaysians are too far gone. too late to go back to china model. we've tasted the best thing in life. full democracy and freedom of expression. and we want the max. but we aren't getting this anytime soon. and so we shout and holler and become onbsessed with politics.

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