Thursday, July 30, 2009


good books for bad men...

picked up a novel at random from my fiction rack and it turned out to be post office by charles bukowski. i haven't read any fictions lately and i find it rather heavy going to plough through the kind of fictions i usually read... it's just like chess. can't play it for ten minutes without making me lose interest in it. i'm not good at it by any standard but i used to play with this guy and what i liked best is to egg him and insult his moves and watching him gets madder and madder...

nowadays i have absolutely no interest to read any new writers ...the way they write it almost make me think that thay have one thing at the back of their their mind...booker prize. english fiction these days are tedious. all words and little meat. with the same smart alecky sentences that go from point A to B in loops and bends rather than a straight line. and they all feel the same. they are inbred. just like what taki said years the Spectator high life column 20 oct 2007...

And as far as literature is concerned, fuggeraboudid. I simply can not read a modern novel even when stuck in a doctor's waiting room without TV. It's as if the work comes out of hip-hop culture, or whatever it's called nowadays.

but bukowski is certainly not one of these. and lucky for me. i'm beginning to enjoy reading fiction again...and with sentences like this who wouldn't.

The midget was married to a very beautiful girl. When she was in her teens she got a coke bottle trapped in her pussy and had to go to a doctor to get it out, and, like in all small towns, the word got around about the coke bottle, the poor girl was shunned, and the midget was the only taker.He'd ended up with the best piece of ass in town.

but if he were alive today and of commonwealth citizen ( which he wasn't) i don't think any of his books would even be among all those other boring booker books in the shortlist let alone a winner. but i guess bukowski isn't meant for 'intellectuals' and literary kind of readers... bukowski is to depraved drunken men readers in the seventies like sophie fucking kinsella to hare brained women of the present day.

i haven't read many of his books, in fact only read one other book factotum (his second) which is more of the same as post office (his first) with the same henry chinaski ,the protagonist bumbling from one job to another and i watched a good and rather sad documentary about him born into this and i don't think the readers digest brigade would be his fans. he wasn't a 'good' man and i think 'bad' men would be more attracted to his books than the normal and boring 'good' men. i can't imagine women reading his books. whores may be. but i could be wrong as I LIKE his books and i am by no means a 'bad' least i think so...

Friday, July 24, 2009


c'est la vie

there's quite a brouhaha (hey nice old word this) about the news of that model who is sentenced to a fine and whipping for the crime of drinking alcohol in public. the uproar caused by this little news is because of the general public ignorance about the muslim syariah hudud laws and the idiots among us including the ignorant non muslims who don't have anything to do with this issue start to give their half cent worth of stupid comments.

now i don't want to sound like my taliban brothers for only god knows i'm such a hypocritical bastard myself but there's only one word for it. leave it the fuck alone. oh no, that's not one word but one sentence. but the point is these days any old fool think that he/she is such an expert in islamic jurisprudence and start arguing and giving their own fatwas why this or that sentence is not right. for the muslims who don't agree with the sentence just go fuck yourself...go and apostasize and go and worship a fucking jew or goat or a tree. be anything you want..just fucking a kafir...and just shut the fuck up.

now this does not mean that i'm HAPPY with the sentence. in fact i pity the poor girl. but i look at it this way. say, if you're caught screwing an underaged girl , you can shout and holler till you're blue in the face that it is all consensual but you know that if you're caught, well than you're fucked my friend. simple as that. nobody will argue that the sentence is unjust . there won't be any brouhaha if you're whipped and put in the slammer for it...unless of course if you're a politician like that ex melaka chief minister who was alleged to screw an under aged girl and get away with it and the only person who was kicked into the gaol was the current CM of penang and his crime was only for trying to defend the girl ...

and so, the lesson here is simply this. don't get caught and you'll be fine. i was with a few business collegues in dusit thani bangkok recently and during the crappy business lunch they as usual noticed that i don't drink and asked why. and as usual i explained that i am a muslim who don't drink. and one of the guys mentioned that he recently attended a meeting and sit at the same table with what his name that banker brother of your PM najib? oh! and i gave a name and he said, well he drank wine! and i said well, as i say i am a muslim who don't drink, but many others do. but doesn't your religion say you can not drink ? he egged me on. and i said well as far as i know all religions don't allow adultery and sex before marriage but that don't stop us from srewing like buggery...or something to that effect. and i asked him what was the reason the guy gave for drinking . oh he said it's only fruit juice. and i said there are some other reasons given . one of my friends just said it's for medicinal purpose. but the point is these guys and thousands others don't get caught and so... many others who commited crimes thousands of times worse and don't get caught ...yes life is unfair that way. but that's life c'est la vie ...

Saturday, July 11, 2009


a dog philosophy of life

if anybody asks me what i want in life i in all honesty can't answer with certainty. i mean yes, we all want to live long, healthy worry free life and have lots of money and sex and all that. in one word we all want to be happy. but i sure as hell don't know what can make human beings truly happy or worse what on earth happiness means. i know i'm an idiot but when i sit down and think about it (which isn't often) i come to the conclusion that since homo sapiens are just another animal species it's probably best to look at what the other species do and how they carry on their lives and may be we can learn something from it.

this is hardly original. humans have been doing this all the time. and i don't mean observing animals like david attenborough and all those animal planet people who funnily enough are not much different from my friend here who is a porn addict.both types (david attenborough and my pornographer friend) study and watch animal after animal and they get trully obsessed by it but with no other motive than just to satisfy their curiosity and craving.

but there are others who study animals so that they may learn how to adopt their methods and strategies to solve our human problems. the crafty chinese know these since thousands of years ago and classified humans based on twelve species of animals depending on your birth date. and we know that all those communists get their ideas from bees and ants and dictators from all those animal colonies with alpha males . you know, like monkeys. but it is interesting to note that there's no democracy in animal kingdom. i can't think of any animal species that adopt democracy , the human preferred form of communal living. which may be the ultimate proof that humans are better than animals but the way most democracy is practised all over the world it does not seem so. in fact it may prove another opposite thing. it proves that humans are the most decietful animal species there is. they will try to achieve their goals by lying, cheating, bribing , blackmailing and any other unfair means that they can think of.

on personal level humans have much to learn from animals. in fact we all adopt certain animal behaviors and philosophies . say of a certain species of insect (or come to think of it almost any kind of animal ) if you're an adulterer and many of us are simply pigs. this is very interesting. why adultery is so prevalent in animal kingdom and why most humans resemble pigs than other animals such as say, doves for instance. and another observation; all successful women are just like cats. they are cute, halplessly lovely , completely selfish andd can get away with murder.

it is my habit to read a page or two of whatever book lying around on my workstation while waiting for my laptop to download all those e-mails and yesterday i came across a few fine jokes in this 'big book of dirty jokes'. one was a rather sad but funny joke about a divorcee who just got a new job and hope to find sexual harrasment in the office.(ha ha, just apply for any government job ladies, or become a maid).

there are quite a few dog jokes and one of the 'deeper' ones has this interesting dog philosophy which i think some of us may want to adopt. i know many politicans are adopting this already. crafty bastards that they are. and it is this:

if you can't eat it, you fuck it,if you can't fuck it you piss on it.

now we know why most successful men are dogs.

Friday, July 03, 2009


cyber friendship

a couple of years ago a company collegue from uk travelled to meet me in bangkok for a meeting. he is one of those people who are afraid of flying. his aerophobia was quite acute that at one stage of the flight he had a nightmare and imagined the plane was on fire. as we get to know each other better he told a small secret. he is now married to a girl he got to know from the internet dating site. i always thought that all these sites and chat rooms where people hunt for partners are only for simple no string attached and no -frill bonking. but if a scientist (as my collegue is) can find a good wife on the net, there must be something more to these sites than i give credit for.

making friends and even getting hitched based on long distance friendship isn't new of course. in the pre internet days many school kids have 'pen-pals' . you pay a small sum and choose three friends from countries of your choice and soon you'll be writing letters back and forth with your new friends. i remember almost all my male friends choose young girls from uk, sweeden or denmark and none from the poor countries like bangladesh , cambodia or vietnam. and the writing can sometimes get crazier and crazier or in most cases the friendship slowly fizzled out and met a slow death. but one friend aimed a bit lower. some magazines used to have back pages full of photos and addresses of people who want to make new friends. he chose one and diligently wooed her and in the end to cut the story short he managed to marry the girl.

virtual friendship can lead to all sorts of things and this phenomenon isn't new except that these days with myspace or facebook and other social networking sites making friends can not be easier. there was an interesting article (somewhere) comparing myspace and facebook and the conclusion was myspace is more for people of the 'lower class' compared to facebook which have more educated class. not too sure about that as i see a lot of idiots milling about in least judging from their inane and asinine posts. or could it be that i'm missing the point? but i mean, if your cyber friends see it fit to post things like...nak makan jap...or nak tido...or going shopping for milo...i mean, what the fuck?

another interesting scociological observation made by another article (somewhere) was how young people vying with each other to have more friends on their facebook. less than a thousand isn't acceptable and you're a social outcast. and therefore they will start inviting new friends from all over the world.

well, i personally consider myself lucky if i can call 3 persons as my real friends but on the other hand , that isn't a bad idea. having lots of virtual friends i mean. create a persona for yourself on cyberspace and invite new friends from all over the globe. and so i started doing just that. a very simple matter to invite young things from all sort of places to become friends. that's easy. they'll 'accept' immediately. then i stepped a gear higher. i checked some famous local names. and i immediately hit a snag. some accepted immediately, some a bit slower and some didn't. a case in point is tian chua. this PKR guy is one interesting bloke and i'd love to be accepted as his 'friend' but the fucker hasn't accepted till now. never mind. there are millions of people who are willing to be my friend. and so i revved up a gear higher. i thought hell, why don't i become friends with famous authors? so i searched salman rushdie. another snag. search results came up with lists of salman rushdies but you only can become a fan of him. fuck, i don't want to become a fan of anybody , not even of sir dickhead. i want to be a friend. and so i tried another name. martin amis...and the same thing happened. can only become a fan. and so i gave up on these big headed authors.

and i tried politicians next. the first name of a politician i want to be a friend with is ahmadinejad of iran. and dang! the same thing happened. i can only become a fan. so i 'lowered my expectation a bit and searched local politicians...i saw mahathir's name there...but no...i'm not interested in this guy. i searched a few others ...TG Hadi Awang is now a friend which is very funny as i've been insulting him so many times in this blog for his hare brained UG idea. -but since only about five people come to this blog anyway, i'm safe. the likelihood of him stumbling here is just about the same probability of me getting hit by a meteorite. anwar ibrahim still hasn't accept, and when i invited her daughter nurul izzah the reply came that sorry, she already has her limit of 5000 or whatever number of friends allowed by facebook. hmmm... i only have about 80, a long way to go!

but i have another interesting problem which is very enlightening.
Yesterday i became a friend with tuan ibrahim tuan man...he is one of the three current vice presidents of PAS and the number three most important leaders of PAS (after TG HA Awang, and Nasaruddin mat isa - not accounting TGNA who is above it all of course).

one of his posts in facebook yesterday was about how the satans are trying very hard to split PAS because of the UG fiasco. I made a small comment to his post which goes something like this:..

...but we must also ask, if satan has sneaked into the turbans (of PAS) ? which create this fiasco in the first place? and why the angels did not inspire PAS leaders to be proactive and ask umno people to join PAS instead of clamouring for this vague concept of UG?

one hour later i found out that my name was promptly removed from his friend list. interesting that he does not appreciate honest dissenting voice. apparently he can call others satan but can not tolerate honest questions wondering if satan can sneak into turbans. i hope the site is only manned by his idiotic officers rather than himself and it's not his doing. all the same it is disturbing to think that PAS have this kind of intolerant idiots as leaders.

some are lucky enough to even get married with their cyber friends and some don't even get to keep their friends for one day. never mind. sometimes i think it would be good if you can find your soul mate in cyberspace, you know , something like 84 charing cross road ?

but one can't ask too much. i think i'm going to do a different thing today. may be invite film stars, actresses , famous people to be your friend? i may start with paris hilton...but some people say she has herpes....

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