Wednesday, November 23, 2005


Story of My Life

Well... the event of Dr Azahari has now slowly faded from our collective consciousness .... but I can't seem to shake off this gloom ....and I thought I might cheer myself up a bit by reading a good story...and i picked up the classic Wilkie Collins' 'the moonstone' and it hooked me from the first line as it mentioned one of my old favorite 'Robinson Crusoe' and the narrator's obsession with this book is very fetching....

but...talking about serendipity....somehow i accidentally picked up Jay McInerney's "Story of My Life"..and how can I resist a book with an opening line...I'm like, I don't believe this shit....and now i had to put yet another good book (the moonstone) on the backburner so to speak and simply had to finish this light but funny story of a young coke snorting partygoing bimbo hell bent on self destruction in NYC....seems like the way to make me feel a bit cheerful...light, breezy and filthy...this book reminds me of a much 'heavier' Allan hollinghurst Line of Beauty (which i've yet to finish)...

I should have read this about 20 years ago....but again...i'm always behind time with my reading....just like those cosine and sine waves...i'm at least half a cycle behind...but it doesn't matter...good books are supposed to last....

but...seems like i can't get away from the morbid and dark events...McInerney was living only a few blocks away from the twin tower and he was there when the unfortunate event's his description of the event but strangely to me his article somehow did not move me as i expected it to be...but i think it gives a kind of balance to my previous several postings ....

Saturday, November 19, 2005


Azahari: The epilogue

And finally, Azahari's remain was laid to rest at the Muslim cemetary Batu 19, Jalan Cincin Melaka, Malaysia at 10.40 pm Thursday 17, November 05. Utusan Malaysia noted that 1000 attended this final rite and that says something about what many people feel about him.

Will this be the end?...will we hear no more about Azahari?...will his legacy and influence lingers on for a while more and gradually peters out to nothingness leaving only sad memories?...or will it grow and snow ball into bigger and more potent resistance to US and western (anti Islam) interests?

Azahari still remins an enigma, and he has big enough a stature to merit serious study and I won't be surprised that there will be books written about him. There will probably be instant superficial and hopelessly inaccurate or skewed books...but I won't be interested in any of these....I'll wait for an objective study and ironically the likely author of this book will come from any one of the very countries he fought so hard against.

Indonesian authorities had allegedly found a large cache of information, writings, video recordings and even love letters of Azahari....and I dearly love to see this be made public...and here is a small excerpt of one of many of his unsent letters to his wife as it appeared in Utusan Malaysia 17 Nov 05.

Ketahuilah sayang, kematian pasti datang. Yang penting, bagaimana cara untuk mati. Mati yang dapat redha Allah atau mati yang dalam kerugian.

Abang melakukan jihad kerana abang takut akan ancaman tuhan jika tidak melakukan jihad ini. Doakan abang mati secara syahid kerana mati syahid ada lah cara yang paling mulia.

Abang sebenarnya khuatir terhadap saudara saudara abang dan saudara saudara kamu juga, yang selalu mementingkan dunia. apabila abang mati syahid akan bererti abang akan membawa 70 keluarga abang ke syurga. Kerana seorang syuhada kalau dia mati maka syurga akan diramaikan 70 anggota keluarganya.

Akhirnya abang meminta maaf atas kesalahan abang kepadamu. Dan abang pun sudah memaafkan semua kesalahan mu. Dan jaga lah anak kita Aishah dan Sabil.

My love, death surely will come. What is important is how to die. A death that is blessed by Allah or a death that is a loss.

I am doing this jihad because I fear God if I do not obey him. Pray for me to die as a martyr because to die as a martyr is the most blessed of death.

I am actually worried about my kins and also yours, for they are more in love with this world. When I tasted martyrdom this means I will bring 70 of my family to paradise.This is because when one is martyred Paradise will be filled with 70 of his family.

Finally, I would like to seek forgiveness from you for my errors .And I have already forgiven you all your errors. And take care of our children Aishah and Sabil.


Wednesday, November 16, 2005


The massacre

Still on the morbid subject of killing and terrorism.... there is an interesting new movie/documentary "the massacre" about the militia that took part in the infamous killing spree at the Sabra and Shatilla Palestinian refugee camps, Lebanon in September 1982 in which the then Israel defence minister Ariel Sharon was 'indirectly ' responsible....

Now, does anybody knows who the leader (s) of these massacre are? why don't they being demonised as 'terrorists'... Sharon's hand is as dirty as any terrorists but why don't we hear any one calling Sharon terrorist?....

Ah....The power of media ....the power of written words!!! can turn a bastard into saint and pig into god....and good men to devil incarnate....and that's one other reason I'm obsessed with written words...books....

speaking of which.... there is an interesting new collection of writings by dear old osama....I'm hoping to get a copy one day soon...i hope....

Friday, November 11, 2005


azahari is dead

So, finally the demolition man Dr Azahari is dead.. ..and I’m deeply saddened by this. I regard him as another Osama… he chose the hard road….a path which 99.9999% other muslims are loath to take…he knew what he did and he knew the consequences and willing to face it and that he did… i respect him for his idealism.. his 100% striving for his idealism... was he a terrorist?... are the ‘jihadists’ struggling in their version of war for Islam in Jolo (abu sayyaf) or Pattani terrorists??...or shamil basayev in chechya? Or the Hezbollah in Lebanon or Hamas in Palestine?

During the 2nd bali bombing of raja restaurant in kuta on Oct first…the last piece of action reputedly masterminded by azahari…my hotel was just a mere 15 minutes walking distance from there…I could easily be one of the victims… but despite this… I tried to understand why these people did this …I can hardly say that I agree with their method of struggle ..for whatever cause…but I respect their tenacity..their dogged stubbornness in trying to move the mountain…am I crazy for respecting and admiring these people??...

if we step out of our mental prison and put ourselves in their shoes... imagine their situation, their perspectives... we may have kinder feelings for these fine warriors... my heart bleed for azahari...

I wish I know azahari’s family…I would offer my deepest condolence to them…if I know his 80 yr old father…I would go and embrace him... and i'll congratulate him for producing such a fine man... i love azahari...i weep for him.....

Oh …I’ve been looking for the movie the hamburg cell…about those September 11 bombers… but to no avail… from what I heard the movie portrayed a rather sympathetic view on Muhammad Atta and the other bombers…and people are not happy when they realize that these people are human just like you and me after all….

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