Wednesday, July 30, 2008

 

i have a theory...

i really hate the way people believe things just because they are on one side of the fence or the other...it's unbelievable how people take sides on anwar - saifool buggery issue.

the truth is, this is how that saifool fellow was buggered.


video

Saturday, July 26, 2008

 

crap art

i think malaysian politics has never been so interesting (and ridiculous) as now. we have arguably the stupidest prime minister in malaysian history running the country. we have a deputy and PM in waiting (2010 ) who is alleged to be connected somehow with the murder of a mongolian woman , we have an alleged sodomiser who is hell bent to be our next PM (and probably quite possibly the person to be our future prime minister too!) and we have an ex PM (a deeply flawed but arguably our best yet) who like a mangy dog keeps on barking at the heel of our (arguably the stupidest) PM....and that is at the top.

it goes without saying that the bottom is also well, full of shit...take this latest thing about terengganu for example. i quite love terengganu ... their coasts and beaches and islands are simply devine, their keropok lekor is good,. granted that their nasi dagang is not as good as the one in my home state (kelantan) or terangganuspeak sounds a little bit ridiculous ...but these are things we understand and happily accept... but the question is why on earth do they keep on voting monkeys to govern their state?. That i couldn't understand.if you have billions of oil royalty dollars for yonks and still manage to get your state at just second from the bottom of the poorest states in malaysia, it says something doesn't it?

and boys and girls, consider the latest 'scandal' about terengganu state goverment choosing the mercs over proton perdana as official cars for the state exec councillors (excos)...the menteri besar reasoning seemed reasonable enough. We forked out 3.34million ringgit to buy 14 mercedes kompressor e200 series for our excos because just to maintain one standard official car for the last mb (dato' seri idris jusoh), the proton perdana v8 for four years (since 2004) cost a whopping RM 235,123.08. it is simply not cost effective. fair enough. but ; that much to maintain one car? who the fuck did idris jusoh hire to become his driver? must be a fucking monkey driving that car to wreck it so! but oh wait! seemed that some fucker made a wrong calculation (fucking typical this). it only cost rm131,449.83. but even so, it only takes rm2,300 for maiantanence cost of a perdana travelling 30,000km /year, said the proton holdings managing director dato' syed zainal abidin syed mohamed tahir. and in the same The Star 26/7/08 news he said:The average maintenance cost for each perdana sent by terengganu state govt was only RM542 per year. and so who did the state government paid the rest of the whopping amount to? and why? did the state govt outsourced the maintenance to another company?...spanco name has been mentioned . and ACA with the recently bestowed power to prosecute (?) gleefully plunged into this murky water and hopefully will grab a few wormy BN cronies out of this muck soon...unless the fucking worms are too big and slimey for even the newly endowed ACA to handle ... but that's not the end of it. today the terengganu mb proudly claimed; I am a controversial figure.i'll expose more! go and investigate the monsoon cup caper, and this islamic civilazation park, and these are just the tip of the iceberg.

...and that's not the end of it. idris jusoh is pissed off. he is considering taking legal action and sue the terengganu government (of which he is very much a part of) for tarnishing his name by quoting erroneous car maintenance figure. he can't defend himself when this thing blew up you see. he's now attending a six month management course in paris. oi what the fuck? you were the menteri besar for the last four years and only now you are trying to hone your skill at management?...probably made sense too why you screwed up so. but still, the greater wonder is, why terengganu people still vote the same clowns in?.

ah...but that's not the end of it. our einstein of a PM (and his cabinet) had a bright idea and says. no can do!. you people must use the proton perdana but keep the mercs to ferry foreign VIPs. not just any vips you mind but important ones. well, my question is how many times each exco will get visits from george fucking bush or gordon brown in a year? my guess is the important foreign vips will likely be some indonesian maids going to pasar losong to buy keropok lekor. and also, does that mean that on top of paying 3.34million of taxpayers money on the mercedes we now have to fork out some more to buy another 14 proton perdanas for the excos? or are they going to use the old ones and pay whopping amount of money again for maintenance?

but even then that's not the end of it... despite the PM's decision on the mercs, today The Terengganu Tourism, Culture, Arts and Heritage Committee chairman Datuk Za’abar Mohd Adib basically said fuck you PM and attended the Malaysian Flora Fest in johor in his brand new black Mercedes-Benz which you can read here. ...oh how i wish we have some really good movie directors here... oh if only the coen brothers know about malaysia ... i think we have an academy award movie material here...


which remids me of another ridiculous thing. i hate pop art, or art of people like robert rauschenberg or botero or all these new art. take this newly famous chinese painter Yue Minjun. he is all the rage in china and elsewhere now. his paintings fetch millions of US dollars each (but of course you can get their exact copies at panjayuan market in beijing for around 300 remimbi each) . i think all these art are ridiculous. but what is more ridiculous are those that buy these crap art. would you spend five million ringgit for a painting like this? apparently there are many who would as this news about the recent christies contemporary art auction is any indication.

admittedly i'm no art expert but i have seen enough of art and visit enough major museums and art galleries to have enough confidence to know what i like. i tried to understand these new arts but i guess i'm just stupid. i just don't get it. but still i try. i read art magazines like art in america but i don't get it. and i guess it's understandable as the international herald tribune's article above stated
....because everything here hinges on mood and instant perception in the absence of a clear definition of what might constitute quality criteria. Interest or admiration is prompted in most cases by abstract statements that are conventionally accepted and may easily be rejected on a whim.

but still, despite it all, i'm very much attracted to books or movies with modern art/artists theme. there is a fine kurt vonnegut novel bluebeard which in a way parodied abstract expressionism which ironically enough i quite like ( de kooning, pollock franz kline, gorky and the like...) and recently i've been reading about the black artist jean-michel basquiat (basquiat by phoebe hoban) and watched julian schnabel (another artist i 'don't get') directed movie 'basquiat' and the only thing i get out of it is that andy warhol ( a fucking homo- as one character in the movie described him) seemed like a very interesting guy...at least as played by david bowie in that movie.

and coming back to terengganu , i think the only thing missing in terengganu state government is a yue minjun on the wall of the state assembly and a jeff koon's balloon flower on the front yard.it will only cost around USD2.5 million for one yue minjun and around RM90 millions for a jeff koon's balloon flower. i'm sure trengganu state government is rich enough to afford these.

i think this added culture is quite appropriate and add even more color to terengganu state government....

Friday, July 18, 2008

 

spiritual lowlife...

i always thought pilots have such a fine life. flying all over the globe and living the highlife and best of all get to have sex with as many air stewardsesses as they like. i always envy them when i see them checking into five star hotels laughing cheerfully with all the beautiful stewardesses giggling behind them. i imagine they will check into their own rooms but in ten minutes they'll start knocking on the stewardesses' doors and have a time of their life.

i remember richard pryor once said that he knew that he has arrived when he gets to 'fuck a playboy bunny pussy'. for you kids who don't know who richard pryor is, he was a very funny black stand up comedian (but a forgettable film star) -just check out the internet bible (otherwise known as wikipedia) here for 'more info' as they say in my office. black comedy (black here is as in skin color) can be very hilarious.

for many men, banging air stewardess is one of our major fantasies. and you know you've arrived if you get to sleep with a malaysia airlines stewardess or better these days, airasia .airasia may be a budget airline but boy ! some of their airstewardesses! simply devine! not like those in american and european airlines that look like someone's aunties. quite recently on my flight out of new delhi i got to talking to this fine hindi air stewardess and one thing lead to another and i ended up with her mobile number. and she stays in an apartment quite near to where i live so i had this dirty thought ; i may not get to bone ashwarya rai but this hindi lady is close enough. but needless to say, i soon discovered that the number she gave was phony. that was as far as i got to banging air stewardess's pussy.

but recently i discovered that not all pilots have so rosy life afterall. i was in davao , mindanao again recently and we visited a banana plantation and watched a display of aerial spray of pesticides on the banana trees. and during lunch i sat beside the pilot who did this in his small one propeller plane. his life isn't glamorous at all. he looks like a lorry driver and worked almost like one (except he gets to do some fine acrobatics with his plane if he feels like doing it).can't even get to bang the girls who sort bananas into boxes. he said.

i asked him if he had done any other work beside this and he mentioned that he just recently came back from saudi arabia doing contract work spraying arab marshes to control malaria. which is a surprise to me as i always thought that arabia is all camels and desert and wahabi fundamentalists (my fellow brothers). and i asked him what he did for entertainment there. and he said arabia is hell on earth. you can't do anything, can't brings girls into your room...but you're a non muslim i said. yes, even so. can't do that. they have religious police who even chase and beat young people who don't go to prayers. hell on earth man.

i told him i was in mecca for hajj some years ago and after a couple of weeks of not looking at girls (let alone having sex with one) i became an expert at imagining how beautiful a girl is even when they are fully covered in black burqas. how? he asked. i said i get a hard on simply by looking at their eyes and little toes. and so how did you spend your time there? i asked again (meaning in the sex department) and he said every weekend (friday) we took a piece of soap went to the toilet , and he made a shaking motion with his hand and went to sleep. and we laughed a sad laugh and ordered another plate of kinilaw .

i flew out to manila on friday and one thing i always liked to do in foreign countries on friday is to attend friday prayers and observe similarities and differences of how muslims in different countries observe their religion. one constant i always observe is that you'll see people nodding off to sleep during the sermon.
...and so i went to quiapo muslim section of the sprawling manila city. quiapo mosque is the largest in manila but looks crappy and dirty as usual. quiapo feels like home as it is quite possible for you to meet people who can speak bahasa as many have gone in and out of sabah. but this time i wasn't so lucky. went into a crappy restaurant and nobody could speak bahasa and when i ordered food in english someone invited me to sit at his table. turned out he is a singaporean. he is trying to get a PR as he has a filipino wife now. she is a very good girl he said and lovingly stroked her hair. i asked him where did he meet her? and he said in singapore when she worked there. i didn't ask but isn't hard to guess. it's a funny thing about religion. you can argue with people of different religion until you're blue in the face but you'll almost certainly will never win them over, but the moment you marry them they will convert to your religion without a fuss. most of the time anyway.

friday is also a special day for the famous christian black nazarene church just opposite the road. so i went in there too . the place reminds me a bit like jerusalem with narrow streets full of little shops selling christian icons including black nazarene.and the funny thing is there is a row of fortune tellers right in front of the church. i guess even devout christians would like a little confirmation from the stars about what the future is in store for them. and for good measure they will go in the church and ask for miracles.



and every year on good friday there is a famous black nazarene procession where huge crowd jostle each other to touch the black christ. some would be lucky but most will not. some may have the consolation of passing a kerchief from one person to another and get that to be lovingly wiped on the feet of the statue and this will be a prized posession. wonder if some are available on e-bay.

all these piety got me into a rather sombre mood and being in manila this is not the right emotion so i took a taxi and went to the naughty areas around baclaran....but that's for another day.







Friday, July 04, 2008

 

bugger it all....

oh what an interesting time we live in ! malaysia may be faceless on the world stage. a bland and boring little country struggling to find it's footing and right image but for a country that is still searching how to brand itself, we are actually not that bad. we are not that boring (at least compared to singapore- that most boring country on earth).

yes, with the exploding mongolian beauty scandal getting more interesting by the day, the never ending stories of buggery in high places , sleepy and boring prime minister (arguably the most boring head of state on earth at the moment) in the country's driver's seat - with his son in-law as a co-driver (if we are to believe dr M's mantra) and all those clowns errr...passing motions in parliament there is not a single day without some sort of high drama that keep us all entertained and forget for a while our little worries about the price hike and other mundane miseries.

and malaysians do have some fine sense of humor. when gays all over the world were busy having their gay pride week on the last week of june and had their gay pride parades in major cities from jerusalem to new delhi to new york , we in malaysia were stunned by another buggery report on anwar ibrahim ,that most charismatic politician we ever have. whoever is the mastermind behind all this has a fine sense of timing and not without a bit of dark humour.

it's pointless for me to add anything as almost the whole of malaysia are gabbing and giving their 2 cents' worth of opinion on the issue and i don't have anything to add anyway. in fact i think the fiance of the alleged buggeree(is there such a word?) had some sort of a record. her blogpost about her resolve to stand-by her man (the buggeree) come what may garnered the most comments I've ever come across in any blog (and it's still growing) . Quick someone! inform the guiness book of world record. Malaysia has another important record broken!.

like all of you i find all these very interesting and it's fascinating to see how it will all end . it's like watching women quarreling and snatching each other's hair in a bar or some such place. except in this case the repercussions are great. it'll affect us all.

everyday we see tit for tat actions and juicy attacks and counter attacks from all the major players. it's like tennis with statuatory declarations and police reports as the ball flying from one side of the net to the other. one day we had SD from RPK about dotty and a few others witnessing the blowing up of a mongolian woman, another day we had a police report of a young man being buggered by anwar and the next day we had another SD hinting that najib may have been shoving it in the ass too!

25.2 Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak informed Abdul Razak Baginda that he had a sexual relationship with Aminah and that she was susceptible to anal intercourse

najib bragging about his sexual adventures? sounds far fetched. but still, who knows? malaysia boleh !

a small aside. i currently have a cat which i named aminah. but this has nothing to do with altantuya aka aminah. i had aminah way back before altantuya is blown up to pieces and become a fixture in malaysian media . and i also used to have three other cats which were named anwar, mahathir and samy. all of them were dead now. no kidding. i can make an SD on it if you like.

all these reminds me of that lovable and my favorite cartoon strip li'l abner. we used to have this strip in NST in the eighties but sadly no more now.

Li'l Abner was the title character in the long-running (1934-1977) syndicated newspaper strip by cartoonist Al Capp. Hardly "li'l," Abner was a hulking, naive man-child, and the frequent foil for Capp's satiric stories about American life and politics. This simple-minded citizen of humble Dogpatch was a paragon of virtue in a dark and cynical world. Abner often found himself far from home, whether in the company of unscrupulous industrialist General Bullmoose, in hapless snowbound Lower Slobbovia, or wherever Capp's whimsical and often complex plots led our heroic hillbilly.

and since we can't get enough of deviant sex, here is a juicy story about verne troyer the 2' 8" midget who played mini me in the austin powers movies. what a lucky bastard! he had a 5' 9" beauty for a girl friend and now seems that he is pissed off that a video of him having sex with his girl friend is circulating in the internet somewhere . i'd dearly love to
see this video of a midget screwing a long legged beauty. what a lucky, lucky bastard! (as spike milligan would say).

this certainly would beat the hell of imagining anwar chasing the young buggeree around the room and buggering him again and again. but if anybody can come up with a video on this and put it on youtube, that will be the end of anwar.





This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

<$BlogItemTitle$>