Saturday, May 30, 2009


Not quite high life...

i'm going to do a taki today. for those who read THE SPECTATOR you know what i'm talking about. taki's high life happens to be my favorite column . the other is the opposite of taki's and appropriately called low life. if anything low life is even better than taki's high life. being a rather poor bugger with no silver spoon shoved up my throat myself i naturally can identify with jeremy clarke's low life misadventures more than taki's high adventures.

take this not quite recent and sad but rather funny low life misadventure in one february 09 issue. mr clarke was looking forward to watch his football team (low lifers as you know watch soccer as opposed to rugby for the high lifers) that was finally beginning to win matches . and he had to take a three hr train ride to london and change over for another ride on the tube. the thing is he is myopic with one long sighted eye and the other short sighted. his contact lenses were naturally different for his right and left eyes . the only thing is on this particular day he put them the wrong way. and so he decided to change them in the train toilet but as you probably can guess, he dropped them in the yellow puddle on the floor. after some further mishaps he was finally able to clean and wore the lenses the right way and to drown his sorrow while waiting for the tube he took a beer and justas he raised the can to his mouth a policeman came up to him and said 'sorry, you can't do that here' in polish accent. and just then he realized that he left his football ticket at home....and here's another lovely one.

taki's on the other hand is the total opposite. he hobnobbed with all the right group, all those sarkozys, the putins and one of these days i'm sure the obamas too. he name dropped like there's no tomorrow. well i can do that a little if i wanted to. for example, at one time i knew anwar ibrahim quite well. i mean personally. in my student days i once had him in my room with a gaggle of his admirers listening to him making fun of umno. but even in those days i never liked him very much. during this same student days one of my friends who is now a vice chancellor of a local universities and i once drove anwar to an airport. my friend happened to be a great admirer of anwar and wanted to wait till the plane depart and wanted to be with anwar as long as he could but not me. the moment we sent anwar safely to the airport i said let's go and anwar wasn't too amused with me. one time many years ago my vice chancellor friend came to my office and invited me to join him to campaign for one of anwar's close friends who stood on unmo ticket . i chased him out of my office with mild insults and we were never that close anymore from then on. but he is a good guy. not like most umno garbage.

and about these three PAS deputy president candidates. i've observed all the three up close a few times. or at least with mat sabu and nasaruddin. as for husam, well my younger brother who is now a syariah court hakim used to work for him and his wife is one of my sisters' good friend. and we get to know about his family life quite intimately. one time nasaruddin came to my sister's home while i also happened to be there. he is a friend of my brother in law. and i get to observe him with his guard's down so to speak. and i can tell you this. he's no PM material. and so is mat sabu. but husam. he's different. there are people who hate his guts and there are people who love him. one of my friends who happened to be one of fairly senior guys in kelantan PAS one time spent hours talking about husam's dark sides. but as a whole i gather that husam is the best among the three. certainly the man that i would like to see as PAS deputy president.

Friday, May 15, 2009



what a mess perak is in now! for some crazy reason it keeps on reminding me about the bible story of the death of JC. when old JC died on the cross, we effectively don't have a god to run the universe, for you see, JC is not only the one and only son of god but god made human flesh and blood or so some people think. and so effectively if this is to be believed , when JC died, god also died so basically it means that the universe had no menteri besar when JC gave up the ghost. which sounds rather funny- for a god to give up a ghost- but then it's not that inaccurate to say this because god in christian religion also comes in the form of a holy ghost. so it's just like perak state now, when nizar is declared the real MB, but then the court awarded this 'stay of execution' (which sounds rather grim in a different context) and so now zamry thinks that he is still the MB but that is disputed by about everybody except umno people and so basically perak now has no real MB just like that time when we had no real god because he died on the cross...or so some people believed. in short perak is in a limbo or to put it more bluntly, perak is fucked.

which makes me think about sex. the funny thing is , as we all know malaysia is a highly polarised country. racism is never been more intense than it is now. the chinese think that the malays are lazy buggers, the malays think that chinese are just like the hated jews and everybody just kick the indians around. we malaysians are completely screwed. the only thing that prevent malaysia from disintegration is this. the different communities are just like the animals in the jungle. they by and large keep to themselves and don't encroach onto each other's space. so although we all call ourselves malaysians we live our separate lives. it has been said that for malaysians , the only time the different races are fully integrated are when they visit whorehouse. for you see, in a whorehouse chinese like to fuck malays like to fuck chinese like to fuck indians like to fuck malays like to fuck indians and so on and yeah, that's not a bad idea, turn malaysia into one big whorehouse and we'll love each other.

that reminds me of another thing. i'm getting mildly depressed again because currently there is a huge book sales going on and i bought a few hundred ringgits' worth of books again that I will never ever going to read. not because they are not good but on the contrary they are very good and that's why i'm mildly depressed. with thousands of books in my personal library now i'll need several lifetimes if i were to read them all. and among the books and back issues of magazines that i bought was this scientific american issue which caught my attention. one lead article is why do men buy sex. and one little fact was astounding;

In Thailand, where prostitution is illegal but socially accepted, one study suggested that a whopping 95 percent of men have slept with a prostitute.

and that my friends mean that just about everybody goes to a whorehouse in thailand...except the monks may be. may be that's why thailand is such a tolerant and non racist nation. everybody goes to whorehouse. oh, some will start shouting about the exploitation of women and all that. may be true. but not all. i've never seen a whore with a long face in my life. well, at least from my observations of naked girls happily dancing their life away in soy cowboy and the like. which is not to say that these girls are not exploited by evil men. some of course do.

which brings me to another thing. one of the books that i just bought was this last novel by norman mailer. one of the triumvarate of the truly great american writers. gore vidal and kurt vonnegut were the other two. all of them are dead now. the castle in the forest is norman mailer's last book and is a story of the young hitler narrated by the devil himself. sounds very delicious . anything about evil is fascinating and it's worthwhile for everybody to understand more of the nature of evil and for some crazy reasons that makes me think about umno again.....

Friday, May 08, 2009


industrial grade stupidity

malaysia is a very boring country. i mean one is hard pressed to think of one interesting thing about malaysia. yes we have a lot of monkeys in our jungle. and we have orang utans swinging from tree to tree in sepilok or somewhere. that is quite interesting. but apart from a few monkeys i can't think of any other thing that is really interesting about my country. but lately our political shenanigans are at least at par with some fucked up countries like the philippines, or thailand or afghanistan... we don't bomb people yet but i think we are getting closer. and probably about time too.

today malaysian politics is elevated to the next level of industrial grade stupidity. i won't say anything about the monkey antics in perak dewan today because everybody has read all about it elsewhere like here or here. these two ex PKR son of bitches jamaluddin mohd razi and mohd osman jailu who were caught red handed with bundles of cash up their bums sometimes back and the mother of all bitches hee shit foong (ex DAP cunt who sulked because she can't get a camry- according to some reports) will go down in history as the vermins responsible for screwing up malaysia and make us the laughing stock of the whole world (not that the whole world gives a shit about malaysia). to think that three worthless piece of shit can cause so much pain and trouble to the people of perak and malaysia is almost incomprehensible. and thanks to these three assholes the perak state government is now well and truly fucked. not that i fucking care very much about perak state but boy oh boy i really wished someone shove C4 up these vermins' bums and blow them up to high, make that hell....

oh dear... i get really worked up again i'm afraid and it's 1.24 am in the morning and i need cheering up. and i guess i'll follow the example of Edward Heath (British PM in the seventies). He read Monty Python and the Holy Grail (book) and this is what he wrote (as appeared on the cover of the book)...

Certainly cheered me up a lot after losing two elections and the leadership of the conservative party.

someone ought to give the book as a present to Dato Seri Nizar (my current hero).the book is a first draft of the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail with all the crosses scribbles and doodles and it is very very funny. I've seen the film countless of times . (countless here means probably 3 or 4 times). i read the first few pages just now and it certainly cheered me up a bit. here's a version of the script. reading this make me forget those assholes in perak.

and i read quite a funny joke from RPK's newest mad posting in exile here.
and here's the joke...

Recently, they held a competition to create a new slogan for Najib’s regime. The third prize was a trip to the US. The second prize was a cake. When the second-prize winner was called up to receive his prize he screamed, “The third prize winner gets a trip to the US and all I get is a bloody cake?” The soon-to-be Malaysian Ambassador replied, “But this is not just any cake. This cake was baked by Rosmah herself.” The second-prize winner then shouted, “Screw Rosmah,” and our wise guy replied, “Ah, but that is the first prize.”

And of course the soon-to be-Malaysian ambassador is 'mr raba raba' as the KJphile blogger sakmongkol AK47 calls him.

not exactly in the monty python's and the holy grail's league but not bad...any joke about our first lady by definition isn't bad...

and for some reason i suddenly feel a craving to read what used to be the best comic strip in the NST. i'm referring to li'l abner. they don't feature this comic strip anymore and NST these days is just a ghost of it's former glory days (and i'm only referring to their old wednesday's literary section when if i'm not mistaken khee thuan chye was the literary editor). just reading this wiki entry on li'l abner make me glow with pleasure.

the fucking perak state assembly sitting today can give the best li'l abner strip a run for the money .

Friday, May 01, 2009


holy goat

the other day during a meeting a couple of us went out to do our Zohor prayers. and while leaving the room one of my friends made a comment "but we all pray to the same god, right?" what he meant was why all these different ways of worshipping the same god? you go and do your five times daily prayers in the mosque, you go to temple and you go to church and so on. and his question was a very valid one. there were indonesians, a colombian, a couple of vietnamese, a couple of thais a filipino, an australian , a couple of chinese malaysians and a couple of malay muslims in the meeting. and we all have diferent religions and beliefs.

one of the best features of our corporate culture is the high respect for diversity and so everybody has the freedom to do and observe his religious practise and culture no matter how outlandish or strange it may seem to the others. but this question of worships and religion always bug me. why all these fights even about what to call god? and that is just for a start. is it any big deal if christians also want to call their god Allah? why don't hindus add jesus as another one of their numerous gods? what if they do? and so on. and all these unfortunate and sad fights all because of different ways of worshipping god. the recent 'scandal' of a hindu convert to Islam who wants to bring up his children into islamic faith whilst his ex wife who is still a hindu want them to remain hindu reminds us how explosive and sad things can turn into. no wonder in some culture when this kind of things happen they simply use guns to settle the matter. clean and easy. i can not imagine what i'll do if i'm faced with a similar situation as this indian couple.


although the question "but we all pray to the same god, right?" wasn't addressed to any particular person i thought i shouldn't leave it unanswered and so I replied "oh no, we worship the same goat" and my recently turned very pious muslim collegue turned to me and wishpered under his breadth...'you be careful, that's blasphemy'. but i may not be far off the truth. different religions differ so much in how they view god(s) and how god wants us to be behave it is almost quite impossible to say that we are worshipping the same god. human intellectual wirings is such that we have this a priori belief that truth is one. you can not have two different sets of truth. all achievements of science depends on this fundamental fact. and that only means that when it comes to different religions , there can not be multiple truths...meaning that there's only one true religion.

but as we know it is not as straight forward as that. religions undergo the same darwinian evolution as much as living things. there is no one religion which is completely unique and arise or stands on it's own. independent of anything before it. all religions are influenced and based on it's predecessor. so in a sense they are one but updated in different ways. so why bother? you like apple, i like orange but they are all fruits right? but it's not as easy as that. even among apples there are varieties, i happen to like cox and you granny smith and so on. and we think those that eat rambutans are plain fuckers...and we start fighting. and we all forget about god, the compassionate and all that.... we might as well worship goats.

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