Friday, March 28, 2008


paradise (not for me)

it's 1.30 in the morning and it's still as death. it's that time of night when you're prone to thinking all kinds of morbid thoughts and and right now i'm listening to a sad song by madonna paradise(not for me). a 6.23 minutes video mix version which i first downloaded from free napster all those years ago and which you can listen and see the video on youtube here. not too many people know this song but it's one of the best and certainly my favorite madonna's song.

i'm not a big fan of madonna but some of her songs are very catchy. but paradise is much more than that and wikipedia described it thus:-

"Paradise (Not for Me)" was the first track from Music that fans had the opportunity to hear, as it was released internationally in April 2000 on Ahmadzaï's Production. The song combines lush strings, a slow techno beat, and occasional electronic baubles with Madonna's half-sung, half-spoken vocals. She also sings a verse in French. Interpretations of the lyrics vary, many assuming that "Paradise" is directed at her fans, while others believe that it is about her mother.

"Basically, this was a performance video that opens the Geisha section of the show. The song is about suicide so we show Madonna getting ready to enter the " other side"

madonna is one interesting lady and for me particularly on account of this article which described a facet of her life which not too many of her young fans probably know. the article appeared sometimes in early nineties and about one of her houses somewhere in the US (so, could be in architectural digest but i can't recall too well).

There is a frida kahlo's painting in the hall and what i remember is what the article described. Madonna judged her visitors by her observation on their reaction to this painting. this is interesting to me as i love paintings and although i'm not sure which painting was hanging there in her hall perhaps this behaviour is not totally surprising. and frida kahlo somewhat resembled madonna and perhaps she identified with her. i'm too lazy to find out though i probably could. there's a madonna biography somewhere in my library.

and frida's life too was very interesting and the movie frida gave a glimpse of her turbulent life. it's is quite a good film.

Madonna - Paradise(not for me)

I can't remember
When I was young
I can't explain
If it was wrong
My life goes on
But not the same
Into your eyes
My face remains

(I've been so high)
I've been so down
(Up to the skies)
Down to the ground

I was so blind
I could not see
Your paradise
Is not for me

Autour de moi
Je ne vois pas
Qui sont des anges
Surement pas moi
Encore une fois
Je suis cassée
Encore une fois
Je n'y crois pas

All around me
I could not see
Who are the angels
Surely not me
Once more again
I am broken
Once more again
I don't believe it

I've been so high
I've been so down
Up to the skies
Down to the ground

There is a light
Above my head
Into your eyes
My face remains


I can't remember
When I was young
Into your eyes
My face remains

Into your eyes
My face remains


Saturday, March 22, 2008


going retro

ok decompression time. time to get rid of the dirts from the political stuff. i'm trying to wean myself from the political bile and mucks accumulated in the past several weeks...i'll stay away from malaysian politics for a bit. although at this moment i'm very tempted to say a few things about that client # 9 of emperor's club , mr eliot spitzer the disgraced new york governor and also about that little snippet of the video of someone who looked like khairi jamaluddin being fellated which appeared on an anti khairi blog just on the eve of election day 8 march . i want to say a bit about this sort of things because i know quite a few things about this kind of things (THEORITICALLY only mom!) but well, that's for another time.

so i thought i'll go retro instead today. on account of listening to the song "the world is a ghetto" from youtube by an old black band WAR. but hell's bells. there's no getting away from politics after all. this song is a very old classic from 1972 when most of your mothers waren't even born yet. i remember i was very young at the time but i was very politically conscious even at that tender age. i still remember many of my exercise books have crecent and star scrawled all over the pages and if you don't know , this was the logo of PAS during those days in the seventies. and in school we used to argue that perikatan was a very evil party because they built tokong all over the place and how good PAS was because they built mosques. i like to believe that my political understanding is a little bit more sophisticated now that i've grown in maturity ( a bit).

but as i was saying, this song "the world is a ghetto" was played on the one and only malaysian english radio station at the time quite a lot. but what i really remember is this. during this time the vietnam war (or the american war as my vietnamese friends call it) was still going on. and somehow in late afternoon and evening for some reason we could receive signals from american army radio station somewhere in vietnam very clearly. we lived in kota bharu which is the nearest point to vietnam so probably that explained it. and i remember first listening to this song from this american radio. and another favorite from these days that the station played over and over again was that great classic by steely dan do it again. so every evening after school i tuned in to vietnam american army radio and listened to good songs.

and my connection with vietnam didn't end there. much much later i get to visit all over vietnam so many times now that hanoi and saigon now feel like almost local towns to me .and the guy who is my good friend , my sparring partner responsible for showing me all kind of vietnamese places and sites and making me experience all sort of vietnamese stuff had a very colorful and chequered life. his family lived somewhere around Hue in the middle of vietnam and when the vietcong was on the verge of victory they (my friend's family) being christians and south vietnamese sympatizers had to run for their lives and they walked all the way south to safety and their experience is fit for a movie.

when i first travelled to vietnam about ten years ago it surprised me to see so many christians there. you can see christian cemetaries and churches all over vietnam . but my friend is a typical vietnamese christian. not exactly practising except probably during birth (baptism) and marriage and death. and my good friend is one bloody randy goat which is not a christian model behaviour at all but that's for another time.

but since this is a retro post, i thought i'll end today's post with a bonus. a picture of a group of us in primary school. i'm in the front row far right. one of the boys in this group is now an imam. another is suffering from schizophrenia and another is a bastard (in the true biological sense of the word). in the back ground is our attap roofed school with bare earth as the floor. but happy to inform that the school these days are a complex of buildings including a three -story building . bigger and looks better than some universities in vietnam although unfortunately still producing mediocre students (though i must say i ended my school days here as the number 1 & top student of the whole school academically).

Thursday, March 20, 2008



politics! there's no getting away from it. i've tried to stop writing posts on it and revert back to the the main theme in this blog on more interesting stuff like what books i've been buying lately or yes , about SEX but there's no way of avoiding politics. malaysian silly season has come and gone but the aftermath if anything is getting more and more interesting. and on the world stage, upheavals and mayhem on scattered spots around the globe go on as usual.

george fucking bush in his speech marking the fifth aniversary of american invasion of iraq yesterday said this:-

"The battle in Iraq is noble, it is necessary, and it is just. And with your courage, the battle in Iraq will end in victory."

what's so nobel about invading a sovereign country on false pretense (looking for nuclear weapons) and killing thousands of innocent people and ruining a country is hard to fanthom unless you admit the real reason. geopolitics for american selfish interest and oil! and that's not so nobel by any stretch of imagination.

when americans first invaded iraq the second ti
me five years ago i mentioned to one of my aussie friends that americans will stick like leeches to iraq and will never come out until they are fully satiated and their bodies distended with blood and i haven't proven wrong. there's only one and ONLY one way if iraqis want to get rid of american invaders anytime soon. kill as many of these bastards as possible to reach a tipping point when americans will say well, fuck geopolitics. fuck oil...lets move on and screw up venezuela or someplace else...

and a strange thing happened in tibet last week . out of nowhere (at least to most people) tibetens held ademonstration and protest aga
inst the occupying han chinese in their capital lhasa. but not only the han chinese that were the targets of this justified anger of the zhang tibetans but also the hui muslim chinese as both are viewed by tibetans as one and the same occupying foreigners in their country. Iraq and tibet are poles apart but will be interesting to see how things will develop in both. how they handle their occupiers who incidentally come from two most powerful nations on earth. things in tibet seemed to fizzle out and in iraq too , it's quieter than usual but we never know what the future is in store for us- as the saying goes.


in 2004 i traveled to tibet. took a flight from chengdu to lhasa.this was just a couple of years before the rail track was completed and i was taken by surprise to find that there is a vibrant hui mu
slim community in one area of lhasa. i simply stumbled upon it because there was no mention of this community in my guide book. after visiting the usual sites, potala gong - that iconic dalai lama palace , and walking up and down the bhakor jie tourist street and the rest , i walked around the city aimlessly when i saw a mosque one day when my chinese collegues were travelling to some remoter parts of tibet which i was barred from (because i didn't have proper paper permits). seemed like this is the area shown on cnn during the chinese hunt for the demostrators last week.

being a muslim fundamentalist myself (at heart) i can not pass a mosque without paying my respect and say my muslim prayers and was pleasantly surprised to see that the place is alive and vibrant. one little incidence also caught me by surprise. one old man came out of the mosque, we exchanged our customary muslim assalamualaikum (which one beijing chinese friend referred to as 'muslim password') and after a few pleasantaries in broken english he mentioned 'mahathir good!'. didn't expect anybody in lhasa to know anything about mahathir.

two other little incidence made my trip to lhasa memorable. the most visited site after the potala palace in lhasa is the sacred johkang temple on bahkor square, the tourist clogged part of the old city. on the ou
tside of the temple you'll see the pious buddhists do their prostrations and in the inside...well i don't know what was inside. i did go into the temple with a gaggle of other tourists but here's the memorable part. not ten minutes after entering the holy place i had this urgent urge to micturate but it was impossible to find a toilet in a temple and even if there was one, there was no way i could explain my need and find my way to it and i've never in my life felt such an excruciating pain to pee. and there was no other choice but i had to turn back and go out and find the nearest loo outside. i thought may be the good buddhas in the temple just don't want an extremist muslim in there. so ok, that's fine with me. i respect buddhas.

and the second incidence. although I tagged along with a group of important chinese government officials we only stayed in a three star hotel as this was an unofficial visit and everybody had to pay his own way and the chinese government people don't have too much pay as you know. and as you know in many parts of asia many three star hotels have one thing in common. they have massage parlours or in some cases outright prostitution den. and this one was no exception. and a few randy ones among us went to visit the place and enquire details as you might say. being the only non chinese speaking person in the group i was completely lost but that night there was a little knock on my door and when i opened it there were two little giggling chinese girls standing there . we sleep ok? yes good! i said. but you're han! no zhang? no zhang! oh sorry i said. we, good. one of them said. we delicious. i'm sure you are. i said. but good night.

Saturday, March 15, 2008


tok guru's prayers

when i arrived in kota baru on early friday morning 7 march , just a day before the polling day i saw a sea of whites coming out of the sultan muhammad stadium like migrating ants. the women in the traditional white shroud-like muslim prayer attire and the men with the obligatory white kopiah on their heads. they have just finished the 3.00 am night prayers and munajat with tok guru nik aziz. in retrospect that scene which everybody could see on banners all over the state late friday was a very powerful portent that BN was about to be squashed like cockroach in kelantan. the open field of the sultan muhammd IV stadium was completely filled with seas of whites. nobody kept count but it could easily be 30 thousands or more. and they prayed for one thing. to seek god's help to prevent umno from taking over kelantan.

well i dunno, but can't help the feeling that tok guru got a bit more than he prayed for. I'm sure even in his most fervent prayers , Perak MB wasn't featured anywhere. but in the end PAS not only trounced umno in kelantan but captured kedah , become coalition partner in selangor and to everybody's surprise had the added bonus of helming perak which is a surrealistic outcome by any standard.

when i came back to kl some friends asked me why kelantan people spurned umno in such a drastic manner. many in the know already predicted that kelantan would be retained by PAS but not too many people would expect umno to suffer such a beating or that umno MB designate awang adek to loose both parliamantary and state seats he contested and anwar musa the umno head honco in kelantan for so many years unceremoniusly kicked out and just about everyone else in umno got the mauling by PAS.

i'm no political pundit, and these people will point out to so so many reasons for the beatings suffered by umno in kelantan. from the manifesto to internal umno bickering (as usual), candidates perceived to be corrupt or morally suspect, ostentatious and cocky candidates parading their wealth and riches and and cigar chomping in the case of awang adek. one favorite PAS campaingn strategy was to potray awang adek as a man living in luxurious style and smoke 3 havana cigars a day at rm200 a piece. and the list goes on. but one other thing is clear. just about everybody feel pissed off and insulted by that little snooty boy khairy jamaluddin coming to kelantan and trying to teach us what to do. in any umno posts you would see young men that looked like dance club bouncers wearing black body hugging t-shirts with a logo of white number 18 in a red circle with a slash and the word pade doh (enough is enough) and this is as far as you can get to contrast with the humble looking tok guru. the strategy looked good. 18 years of PAS rule is enough but nobody wants to see tok guru gets insulted by this cocky khairy and kicked around by his pemuda umno.well, khairy is a beaten man now. this guy will not be welcome in kelantan and it would be a political suicide if umno still suck up to him.

talking about khairy for some reason makes me think of the expression 'mangkuk hayun' which i don't understand exactly what it really means but probably that's what the surviving umno people think of him now. what a mangkuk hayun that guy is. and incidentally i like mangkuk, the antique variety. in fact any pottery and antique ceramics especially celadons which i haven't touch in my blog at all. so i'll leave with a picture of one beautiful swankhalok bowl /dish and a kendi from Museum Seni Asia, University Malaya which has one of the best collection of kendis in the world perhaps almost nobody realize. which is a shame.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008


just another day

i couldn't sleep very well last night. i kept thinking about the tragedy that struck the house of Dato Zakaria Mat Deros. first the state of selangor fell to PKR-DAP-PAS onslaught, much to the surprise of everybody , particularly the umno people including Dato Zakaria. and to add insult to injury as the cliche goes, Dato Zakaria's daughter in law was also carried away in that little tsunami. she lost. she was widely considered to be the proxy for him in that little enclave which had been his turf for so many years. probably he had thought that it was a given that she being an umno candidate would win it hands down. and then another unthinkable happened. yesterday a tragedy occured. He died suddenly due to a heart attack as you can read here. he simply dropped dead - if you want to be unkind. but on the contrary, i felt sad and quite affected by it even though i don't know him personally or have anything to do with him . and to see one of his sons sobbing on tv3 begging forgiveness for his father was quite poignant.

and i kept tossing in my bed and thinking...well, that's life. one day you're on top of things but you never know what's the next day is in store for you. and kept thinking what a calamity for Dato Zakaria's family. that little 'palace' with 16 rooms and 21 bathrooms that he built will feel like a mausoleum now. but in his life, he did pretty well for himself. coming from the bottom and derided by the opposition parties (which are now the government party of selangor)
as a mere railway gatekeeper he had climbed up to become an umno VIP and amassed quite a fortune for himself along the way. and he expressed this achievement by building that showy mansion among his poor neighbours. and that was the start of his downfall. and i kept thinking, what a way to go. he couldn't even begin to enjoy the fruits of his labour, as another tired cliche goes.... his little palace was finished just about a year ago. there's a lesson there another cliche goes...

Wednesday, March 05, 2008


going home to vote PAS

4/3 The Election Commission has cancelled the use of the indelible ink during polling day citing public order and security

well, fuck you mr EC chairman. you've always been sucking bn's dick and you'll always do can't help're weak and you're a bn donkey ...always have been and will always be so...

but indelible ink or no indelible ink i'm going back to kota bharu tomorrow and i'm going to vote PAS.

i'm going to take it easy. going back early and will drive via the long way throug
h trengganu instead of the shorter kl - bentong-gua musang-kb way. wanna see how things are shaping up in tganu kite. another reason, i'm trying to avoid tailing khairi's chartered bus ferrying my fellow kelantanese voters back home to vote ... i don't know who are stupid enough to go on these bus but with a few hundred ringgit bribe per head, there probably will be no shortages of hantus....some will no doubt use the extra money to do some recreation and fornication in golok, just a short ride away from kb... but i do hope even these hantus are pissed off enough with bn assholes to vote PAS instead....

based on a few reports from my kelantan friends back home things are shaping pretty well for PAS in kelantan -despite all the promises and propaganda blitz by the bn machineries... and boy don't they try! and the worst of the lot is probably the utusan malaysia and the tvs. i don't know about tvs because i've not watched tv3, and rtm since i can not remember when... but i know about utusan malaysia.

i've never bought this rag myself but my office does. every morning the office boy will put all the local papers in the office reading a
rea and people will come and flip through these while having coffee. but nobody and i mean NOBODY ever touch utusan. so it leaves to me to pick it up at the end of the day and bring back to use to wrap cat shit in . and sometimes it gives me pleasure to see the EC chairman's face and other umno big shots completely smeared with cat shit.

i know my fellow kelantanese well, they don't give a flying fuck what BN says... over the years, they have become self reliant and have learnt to NOT to depend on anybody...

if you listen to these bn promises... kelantan will be turned into fucking new york overnight. probably even buffaloes and cows will be given shoes to wear... the only thing is, they haven't done shit even in the constituencies that they were in control since 2004. that cigar chomping BN mb designated awang adek's place included...

i wish my fellow malays from other states try to emulate kelantanese independence and thinking a bit... or at least follow the way the chinese in their states behave when it comes t
o politics...i can feel the change but am not sure if it's big enough to give any significant punch to bn's face this time around ...may be trengganu can... they have done it before ....

speaking of which i'll leave you with a little bonus photo of the last trengganu mb when he was quite young ...but i hope hj hadi will be back as trengganu's mb on 9 march....

and i wish you all the best . come 8 march vote wisely. which is the same thing as saying vote any party but BN.......

Tuesday, March 04, 2008


a few curious incidence

a few little incidence that happened during this run up to GE on march 8 gets me thinking ( a little), on the nomination day. a gang of umno boys on motorbikes took a wrong turn and ran smacked into a DAP crowd somewhere in johor and was quickly surrounded and beaten up (this was nomination day you must remember, and tension and emotion ran at boiling point) but a group of PAS supporters (who were with the DAP group ) came and rescued the umno boys. you can read a lot in this if you want but i'll leave it at that.

second. a few days a go, a couple of berita harian repoters were given a trashing by umno hoodlums in perlis. what a turn that was! they were there to make glowing reports on umno and were rewarded with kicks and a proper bashing. only came out as a very small news item . the small report looked very sorry and the paper seems to me like a cowering dog with tail between the legs. i know they can't do much. if these reporters were whacked by PAS supporters! it'll be headline news for three straight days and we can say good bye to the state of kelantan!

third. i was among the crowd accompanying khalid samad (PAS) the candidate for Shah alam parliamentary seat waiting for the nomination candidates to be announced. and towards noon a few sms came from kelantan saying excitedly that tuan guru nik aziz won the chempaka DUN seat without contest! turned out the message was wrong. what happened was the umno candidate did not sign some of the nomination papers but nik aziz graciously allowed him to sign them. speaks volume about the man.

khalid samad by the way is a uk engineering graduate and the younger brother of shahrir samad the johor umno maverick. and his opponent from umno is the infamous (and now very old) aziz shamsuddin....speaks volume about both.

fourth. the only seat won unopposed by the opposition this time is in kijang state seat in kelantan. it was won by one lady who was previously a PAS senator. I don't know her personally but we went to the same secondary school. i knew her husband very well though. he was a good friend. i say was because one day quite a few years ago, he died of a heart attack while playing football. i always know exercise is not always good for you. the reason she won the seat was simply because her umno opponent was proven to be a bankrupt. despite the hoo haa by dollah badawi that umno candidates would be properly vetted many apparently passed through the umno vetting sieve. and that impeccable PAS man of kelantan Dato' Husam Musa knew about this umno man for kijang state seat even five days before the nomination.

the curios thing is this. kijang seat is husam musa's seat. it's one of the safest seats for PAS in kelantan. and husam musa is hotly tipped to be the next menteri besar for kelantan. but he chose to go to salor instead. salor seat was previously won by PAS but it was held by umno a f ew times previously. so a kind of a ding dong seat. and husam can pick and choose his seat. he's in the driver's seat for kelantan PAS after all. but i heard him explained in a gathering of PERAKAN (persatuan anak2 kelantan di perantauan) at nikko hotel last night. he said, i know this seat will be won unopposed as i know this guy (is a bankrupt) five days before the nomination. i kept it a secret to everybody. but i thought to myself, well, better to give a lady the seat....not exactly in his very own words but that's the gist of it. speaks volume about the man.

and by the way the nikko hotel do was very successful. full house . the president of PERAKAN started off and got the audience excited and the blood boiling. and from then on it was a party all the way with Husam and Nik Aziz as the star attraction. probably that was the first time nikko hotel people heard so many screams of allah hu akbar. quite concievable that some umno assholes who were fornicating there ran under the bed thinking khalwat guys were making a big operation. perakan president by the way happens to be my brother in law. very small world.

and main thrust of the meeting was this: all you kelantanese voters! go home and vote... if khairi gives you money take it! they say umno is giving up to rm500 per head! take it! and go and buy air asia ticket! and even if you choose to go home on umno bus. no problem...take the money hop on the bus and while you are on it scream the takbir allah hu akbar and on the voting day, simply vote opposition.

i know one umno guy was given the responsibility to find people for 10 bus to ferry to kelantan. each bus will be allocated rm10,000. so he has rm100,000 in his pocket. and a big portion will remain there. i know umno people. they are all assholes.

and fifth. here's a juicy one . i didn't know about this till i read RPK column here.
i'm beginning to admire this shahidan fucker. he has balls.

here's an excerpt

Shahidan Kassim was dropped from the candidates' list and thereby would have to retire as the Menteri Besar of Perlis as well. He stormed into Abdullah's office in Putrajaya and only after the seventh attempt was he able to meet the Prime Minister. Under immense pressure and Shahidan's threat of handing the state over to the opposition, Abdullah relented and reluctantly gave him back his seat. This upset Umno's Secretary-General who had been trying to get rid of Shahidan because of his many sex scandals, the latest involving a very young girl who was forced to have an abortion to get rid of Shahidan's baby she was carrying.

Shahidan retaliated by declaring that he would give the Parliament seats to the opposition “so that I would not have to see their fucking faces for the next five years.”

the old shahidan has many sex scandals? screwing a very young girl? i'm getting a hard on imagining it. so i'd better stop here.

Sunday, March 02, 2008


a poll among friends

there is no better ways to see the stark difference in freedom of expression and objective reportings between a truly democratic country and a pseudodemocracy like malaysia then now. go read NYT or any american papers about presidential candidate race for example, and compare that to the fucked up NST, the star or even worse the malay papers Utusan and B harian. to put it simply our papers are nothing but BN propaganda tool and US papers are well, US papers.

i can not read the real feelings and pulse of the malaysians about the election from these malaysian papers. so i took matters into my own hand and did a little poll to see what my friends feel about it. what are their voting preference?. in short i sent sms to some of my friends & collegues asking " will you vote BN or BA? BA is of course barisan alternatif...any opposition parties

and this is of course not a scientific or statistically accurate poll as the sample is way too small, and like anyone else who your friends are depend on your milleu so to speak and this will skew things up. it's not a repsentative cross section of malaysian society thats for sure. but as i say, i sent sms to friends and colleagues. mostly professionals with tertiary education ranging from professors, head of departments and company professionals ,to a few businessmen and several blue collar workers (plumbers, clerks etc) and a token writer or two. Mostly malays, some chinese, a few indians.

and the first response came from my local plumber( malay).BN! this doesn't look good , i thought to myself. then came a slew of responses , mostly BA! but there are a few surprises! one dean of a local university sent the message ' i vote hussein obama'... i thought my question is simple enough: do you vote BN or BA but apparently people can find creative ways of answering it. quite a few sent poems and ditties by way of answers...i can't decide what to make of it. so in the end i decided to put these under 'undi rosak' or if i know the guy well and know their preference i'll slot them into BN or BA accordingly.

a couple of examples...

Tepuk amai2

Tepuk amai2

budak baru meniarap,

undi raamai2

tolak kerajaan korup,

tepuk amai amai'

ambil batang penyapu,

undi ramai2

tolak keraajaan penipu,

tepuk amai2,

makan gulai timun,

undi ramai ramai

tolak kerajaan penyamun,

tepuk amai2

belalang kupu kupu,

pakat ramai2

sokong tok guru,

tepuk amai amai,

katak bawah tempurung,

pakat ramai2

tolak keraajan pembohong

and here's another

niat mengundi: sahaja aku masuk BARISAN untuk pangkah BULAN demi KEADILAN

there were also responses that were obviously from fanatics. one not only say BA but added undi PAS sampai mati. and one or two called me asking what the hell is this? and many simply ignored and didn't answer. (not sporting la you!)

among the friends i sent the sms to there were a couple of millionaires but only one responded. a chinese businessman who has about six malay companies that he use to get government contracts. he called me and say of course i vote BN la! well, it figures. no surprise there.
one or two are cynics. one answered it depends who give me more.

what is interesting is all my chinese friends who responded voted BA except that chinese millionare. and majority of malays too. 2 of the bn supporters are govt officials, another is a go figure.

and finally here's the summary of the results.

Total respondents: 38

Malays 29 – 21 BA, 4 BN, 4 undi rosak

Chinese 9 – 7 BA, 1 BN, 1 undi rosak

if each of you guys can do the same and we pool up our votes than perhaps we'll have a good sampling of what malaysians real pulse are.


poll in malaysia today

33341 86.6%
5142 13.4%

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