Saturday, November 06, 2010


chinese friends

when i saw a picture in MI of a row of orang asli queuing up waiting to cast their votes in some godforsaken place in ulu kelantan , all wearing red umno t-shirts doled out for free by umno i know straight away that PAS is fucked in galas. well, that's all i want to say about the recently completed by-election.

today my son said his friend who got a scholarship to do medicine in some godforsaken place in russia said ALL malay students who go there had to join umno student club. what if they refused i asked. they can't. why? because they are automatically enrolled as members. are there other malaysians in the university?. yes chinese and indians, he said. they are private students and band togather against the umno club. excellent i said.

and i said you must make friends with the chinese in your university. my son is studying in nottingham university at semenyih. he obtained straight As in his spm but only managed to get scholarship to semenyih branch. be grateful i said. others have to make do with UITM or upm and if they are chinese most of them may even have to pay their own way. my other son also obtained 9As in his spm and he is also pissed off that he could only manage to get scholarship to study at monash in sunway. i said the same thing to him. be grateful and make friends with the chinese.

but it's difficult to make friends with chinese students my semenyih son complained. i'm not surprised because most chinese think malays are just retarded monkeys. i don't blame them. most malay students do seem so. but i told him don't be afraid of the chinese. most of them are son of bitches but if you show that you're no worse than them you may won them over. i said most of my good friends are chinese. i said i'm more comfortable working with chinese the myself. yes they can be right bloody motherfuckers but they are very professional, their attitude is always positive. we malays are the opposite. sit with umno fucking malays for five minutes and you'll feel as though chinese are going to drown you in their pees and you'll be fucked if not for umno. umno is dumbing down the malays to feel inferior stupid and besieged.

and of course chinese are not that. they are just like any other human beings. meaning, mostly bastards like any other human race. but the world is big. pick the good ones i advised my sons. and my monash son said he had some good chinese friends. yeah? and he said one is from mauritius. can't be i said. mauritius is in africa somewhere. well he is chinese, my monash son said. and he's very clever but crazy he added. crazy ? how? oh sometimes he sleeps in the college. he finds some quite room at the back somewhere and sleep there . one day he slept on the roof of one of the buildings. huh ? that is crazy i said. yes, and i joined him there too, my son confided. hmmm, splendid.

and not to be outdone my semenyih son said he too has a very good chinese friend. what makes you think he's your good friend?i asked. we always go out togather and he even ask me to go to bali with him. he didn't ask his other chinese friends but me . okay i said. and is he from mauritius too? no.he is from terengganu. can speak trengganu slang very well. is he a private student? i asked. no he obtained straight 12A+ in his spm and he gets yayasan trengganu to study in semenyih. oh that's wonderful i said. no, he is very angry . my nottingham son said. he's angry because yayasan terengganu give overseas scholarship to malay students even if they ony get 6 or 7 As but he gets 12A+ and can ony come to semenyih branch. and i said isn't that typical of umno?

i thought of telling my sons about my chinese friends too. about my kelantanese chinese friends that always speak in our own kelantanese dialect and eat budu. and how we treat each other not as malays or chinese but plain human beings. about how one of the chinese friends even get the president of his company to come and convince me to join his company. but i said no because i'm enjoying myself too much fucking around in this american company where i'm at right now. how he always go to shenzen or somewhere to frolick with all those chinese whores there. how he always come back and relate all the dirty details to me. how one time he had blood in his semen and was worried sick that he might have cancer on his dick. or about this chinese friend who said if i'm interested to have maids he can find a good filipino illegal immigrant from sandakan. just tell me if you want tukang masak or tukang masuk he says. ah tukang masuk sound interesting i told him that time. but i'll think it over, er...sleep on it.

but i don't tell all these to my sons . perhaps next time . when they are less green. and talking about the chinese i'm currently reading another excellent colin thubron travel book again. this time about china and the chinese of course. the book is Behind the Wall: A journey through China. and it so happen that i'll be travelling to Nanjing for the first time in a couple of weeks' time. during eidul adha in fact. which i'm really looking forward to. to see how the nanjing hui muslim celebrate the feast of qurban. and i'll have a quick stop over in hong kong for a couple of days. haven't been to hong kong for quite a few years now. should be another interesting week or so. but i have to tell you this. i hate fucking chinese food.

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