Friday, July 18, 2008


spiritual lowlife...

i always thought pilots have such a fine life. flying all over the globe and living the highlife and best of all get to have sex with as many air stewardsesses as they like. i always envy them when i see them checking into five star hotels laughing cheerfully with all the beautiful stewardesses giggling behind them. i imagine they will check into their own rooms but in ten minutes they'll start knocking on the stewardesses' doors and have a time of their life.

i remember richard pryor once said that he knew that he has arrived when he gets to 'fuck a playboy bunny pussy'. for you kids who don't know who richard pryor is, he was a very funny black stand up comedian (but a forgettable film star) -just check out the internet bible (otherwise known as wikipedia) here for 'more info' as they say in my office. black comedy (black here is as in skin color) can be very hilarious.

for many men, banging air stewardess is one of our major fantasies. and you know you've arrived if you get to sleep with a malaysia airlines stewardess or better these days, airasia .airasia may be a budget airline but boy ! some of their airstewardesses! simply devine! not like those in american and european airlines that look like someone's aunties. quite recently on my flight out of new delhi i got to talking to this fine hindi air stewardess and one thing lead to another and i ended up with her mobile number. and she stays in an apartment quite near to where i live so i had this dirty thought ; i may not get to bone ashwarya rai but this hindi lady is close enough. but needless to say, i soon discovered that the number she gave was phony. that was as far as i got to banging air stewardess's pussy.

but recently i discovered that not all pilots have so rosy life afterall. i was in davao , mindanao again recently and we visited a banana plantation and watched a display of aerial spray of pesticides on the banana trees. and during lunch i sat beside the pilot who did this in his small one propeller plane. his life isn't glamorous at all. he looks like a lorry driver and worked almost like one (except he gets to do some fine acrobatics with his plane if he feels like doing it).can't even get to bang the girls who sort bananas into boxes. he said.

i asked him if he had done any other work beside this and he mentioned that he just recently came back from saudi arabia doing contract work spraying arab marshes to control malaria. which is a surprise to me as i always thought that arabia is all camels and desert and wahabi fundamentalists (my fellow brothers). and i asked him what he did for entertainment there. and he said arabia is hell on earth. you can't do anything, can't brings girls into your room...but you're a non muslim i said. yes, even so. can't do that. they have religious police who even chase and beat young people who don't go to prayers. hell on earth man.

i told him i was in mecca for hajj some years ago and after a couple of weeks of not looking at girls (let alone having sex with one) i became an expert at imagining how beautiful a girl is even when they are fully covered in black burqas. how? he asked. i said i get a hard on simply by looking at their eyes and little toes. and so how did you spend your time there? i asked again (meaning in the sex department) and he said every weekend (friday) we took a piece of soap went to the toilet , and he made a shaking motion with his hand and went to sleep. and we laughed a sad laugh and ordered another plate of kinilaw .

i flew out to manila on friday and one thing i always liked to do in foreign countries on friday is to attend friday prayers and observe similarities and differences of how muslims in different countries observe their religion. one constant i always observe is that you'll see people nodding off to sleep during the sermon.
...and so i went to quiapo muslim section of the sprawling manila city. quiapo mosque is the largest in manila but looks crappy and dirty as usual. quiapo feels like home as it is quite possible for you to meet people who can speak bahasa as many have gone in and out of sabah. but this time i wasn't so lucky. went into a crappy restaurant and nobody could speak bahasa and when i ordered food in english someone invited me to sit at his table. turned out he is a singaporean. he is trying to get a PR as he has a filipino wife now. she is a very good girl he said and lovingly stroked her hair. i asked him where did he meet her? and he said in singapore when she worked there. i didn't ask but isn't hard to guess. it's a funny thing about religion. you can argue with people of different religion until you're blue in the face but you'll almost certainly will never win them over, but the moment you marry them they will convert to your religion without a fuss. most of the time anyway.

friday is also a special day for the famous christian black nazarene church just opposite the road. so i went in there too . the place reminds me a bit like jerusalem with narrow streets full of little shops selling christian icons including black nazarene.and the funny thing is there is a row of fortune tellers right in front of the church. i guess even devout christians would like a little confirmation from the stars about what the future is in store for them. and for good measure they will go in the church and ask for miracles.

and every year on good friday there is a famous black nazarene procession where huge crowd jostle each other to touch the black christ. some would be lucky but most will not. some may have the consolation of passing a kerchief from one person to another and get that to be lovingly wiped on the feet of the statue and this will be a prized posession. wonder if some are available on e-bay.

all these piety got me into a rather sombre mood and being in manila this is not the right emotion so i took a taxi and went to the naughty areas around baclaran....but that's for another day.

You're always such a good read, greenbottle. I'm leaving a comment so you know I'm here, and you don't get too lonely thinking no one appreciate you! What I'm most afraid is returning and discovering you don't live here anymore!
ha ha don't worry about me rox.
don't mind if nobody ever come to this room here but you. what i do know is that what few repeat offenders that come over here are people with way above average intelligence...and that's much better than having tons of idiots who don't understand my kind of let's say sense of humor...

and it gives me freedom to say anything i like without worrying about trying to please anyone...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Interesting piece. I didn't know that there's a mosque in Quiapo, but I do know that there's a sizeable Muslim population there going by the women in tudungs and the men in kopiah. I frequented Quiapo to get my linen barongs as they're dirt cheap compared to the ones in Glorietta or SM outlets. Writing about Manila really make me want to go there again...but I still have a box of my 1881 cigar.

King of the Jungle, P. Burgoss St.
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?