Saturday, July 11, 2009


a dog philosophy of life

if anybody asks me what i want in life i in all honesty can't answer with certainty. i mean yes, we all want to live long, healthy worry free life and have lots of money and sex and all that. in one word we all want to be happy. but i sure as hell don't know what can make human beings truly happy or worse what on earth happiness means. i know i'm an idiot but when i sit down and think about it (which isn't often) i come to the conclusion that since homo sapiens are just another animal species it's probably best to look at what the other species do and how they carry on their lives and may be we can learn something from it.

this is hardly original. humans have been doing this all the time. and i don't mean observing animals like david attenborough and all those animal planet people who funnily enough are not much different from my friend here who is a porn addict.both types (david attenborough and my pornographer friend) study and watch animal after animal and they get trully obsessed by it but with no other motive than just to satisfy their curiosity and craving.

but there are others who study animals so that they may learn how to adopt their methods and strategies to solve our human problems. the crafty chinese know these since thousands of years ago and classified humans based on twelve species of animals depending on your birth date. and we know that all those communists get their ideas from bees and ants and dictators from all those animal colonies with alpha males . you know, like monkeys. but it is interesting to note that there's no democracy in animal kingdom. i can't think of any animal species that adopt democracy , the human preferred form of communal living. which may be the ultimate proof that humans are better than animals but the way most democracy is practised all over the world it does not seem so. in fact it may prove another opposite thing. it proves that humans are the most decietful animal species there is. they will try to achieve their goals by lying, cheating, bribing , blackmailing and any other unfair means that they can think of.

on personal level humans have much to learn from animals. in fact we all adopt certain animal behaviors and philosophies . say of a certain species of insect (or come to think of it almost any kind of animal ) if you're an adulterer and many of us are simply pigs. this is very interesting. why adultery is so prevalent in animal kingdom and why most humans resemble pigs than other animals such as say, doves for instance. and another observation; all successful women are just like cats. they are cute, halplessly lovely , completely selfish andd can get away with murder.

it is my habit to read a page or two of whatever book lying around on my workstation while waiting for my laptop to download all those e-mails and yesterday i came across a few fine jokes in this 'big book of dirty jokes'. one was a rather sad but funny joke about a divorcee who just got a new job and hope to find sexual harrasment in the office.(ha ha, just apply for any government job ladies, or become a maid).

there are quite a few dog jokes and one of the 'deeper' ones has this interesting dog philosophy which i think some of us may want to adopt. i know many politicans are adopting this already. crafty bastards that they are. and it is this:

if you can't eat it, you fuck it,if you can't fuck it you piss on it.

now we know why most successful men are dogs.

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