Sunday, June 15, 2008


wild sex

someone ,( a lady actually ) sent me a text message on my mobile a few weeks back which took me by surprise. it reads something like this: u r a level headed guy, tell me, y do men alws think abt sex?.

this surprises me for two reasons. one; to be called a level headed person. well, i'm not used to that description. truth be told i feel really fucked in my head. i think this world is a very complicated place. i don't understand anything at all. the more i try to understand the world and my fellow human beings the more i get confused. i guess i'm a very stupid guy but it must be said that sometimes i feel quite a few others are a lot stupider than me...

and the second surprise is the question itself. i thought the answer is too self evident. i would never think of such a question because isn't it obvious that EVERYBODY always think about sex? apparently not. and that surprises me to no end and it gets me thinking . and after a lot of thinking i sent the obvious and truthful answer . i replied; 4 the same reason y women alws think abt shoes and handbags...i should've's all evolutionary innit?

as much as (some) women can not understand why men always think about sex , i also find it a big mystery why nature makes women to be so obsessed with hand bags and shoes. i'm a scientist, had a masters degree in biological science from a very good university (one of the colleges in university of london) and i think i know a thing or two about evolution but for the life of me i can not find any logical explanation what possible evolutionary advantages women get from getting obsessed about handbags. but that is women for you. a mystery. a very lovable mystery i might add. give them a fake gucci handbag and you're on your way to solving your sexual obsession .

but although my answer is absolutely correct that's not much of an answer, so to give due respect to the lady in question and do justice to the question i decided to put my scientific thinking cap and answer it as objectively and scientifically possible. and to put myself in the right frame of mind i downloaded cheb mami rai music into winamp and with the energetic arabic rai music of this algerian singer blaring i'm writing this treatise on why men are obsessed about sex.

but before that. a little aside. i love arabian music and i don't choose cheb mami's rai music lightly as background music while i'm writing this deeply thoughtful little essay on why men is obsessed about sex (while waiting for the euro 2008 turkey vs czech rep game to start - which i hope turkey will win). as you may probably know cheb mami is an arab. and arabs are a very sensual people. they love sex inordinately. which reminds me. i was told that one of the few ways the arabs get back at the israelis is by banging jewish girls. the arabs as we know are hopeless in war and can never beat the jewish people but they sure as hell can beat the jews when it come to fucking. and by some account jewish girls like arab boys very much (not for their brain power but their sexual prowess and big dicks).

and that reminds me of another thing. i'm currently reading maximum City :Bombay lost and Found. a hell of a book by Sekutu Mehta. in the chapter (pleasure) he mentioned about arabs who come to bombay to shower money and have sex with dancing bar girls and spent lakhs of rupees to deflower under aged girls. and perhaps quite appropriately the biggest whorehouse area is just in front of the congress party headquarters where among all the rest of sexual going ons , it includes politicians coming to pick young underaged girls from the orphanage there to have sex with. an interesting side activity that sometimes the bar girls and their customers do is to have private parties. one type is called congress party where you can only watch (and shower money on the dancers) but no touching. the other is janata party , where everything goes. you can read a very good review of the book from harper's magazine here.

that gives me an idea, we should have pas party and umno party here. in the former probably we pick up young nashid girls and have them sing nasyid songs and dance fully clothed with tudungs and all and later we haggle and bid to get them to be our second or third or fourth wives. for umno party, well we just get whores from bukit bintang and we do anything we like with them. anything goes. afterall, umno people are just assholes anyway.

and after that long digression which i hope isn't too far off the topic, i'll now come back to the original question. why men are obsessed with sex. but even from the above you must already have some understanding why. but to be really scientific you must go to biology 101. and what better way these days than to refer to national geographic! to understand human behaviour one must look back at our relatives, distant and close, after all scientifically we are nothing but another animal species and national geographic has a very good documentary called 'wild sex' that explains a lot about us animal family -when it comes to sex. you'll get to learn some very interesting trivia (examples; elephants have a 3 feet penis that weighs about 25 kg and curved like it's tusk, hyenas have clitoris 6 inches or longer - arguably longer than an average asian penis etc). but more importantly you'll see the evolutionary trends of sex from the most primitive to the most advanced animal species. and i can report ladies that it doesn't look good for women. it's all men's world!

lets look at one of the lowest species first. sand wasps. one species of sand wasp was shown to have a very naughty behaviour. this insect lives in little holes. the thing is, when the female lay eggs in these holes, the males hatch first. there would be a dozen or so randy males coming out of the hole and waiting around the hole for their sisters to emerge. and when the little sister emerge from the hole these twelve or so brothers of hers will start crowding and fighting to copulate with her and the upshot of it all is that they basically have a gang bag with their sister.

and from this lowly insect to our nearer cousins the monkeys, there are a huge amount of variety and madness in between when it comes to sex among the various species as the nature lovers among you surely know already. but the thing is, when it comes to our cousins we start to see the behaviour very much mirrors our human species. there is gay sex, there is masturbation and the males are polygamous and very jealous and the females are not allowed to be so and must remain faithful to the alpha male in the group. and they learn to become unfaithful . there was a very good program by david attenborough, arguably the finest living naturalist that we have about this unfaithful behaviour in macaque monkeys . he went something like this, in a hushed and calm voice of his ... now you see sarah is flirting with that young male on the branch there. she must be careful not to to let john the alpha male notice this. now the young male notices sarah and shows his interest by baring his mouth and look, sarah grins back. and now sarah pretends to go to that patch to gather some fruits and there, she must be quick! the young male darts quickly towards sarah behind the tree and now they have the opportunity. (and here the clip shows the male mounting sarah doggy fashion lustily but furtively)....and damn, if there's anybody , it's david attenborough that can give me a hard on just looking at monkeys fucking....

but there you are... females! there is no end to their slyness and faithlessness. it's the basis of some of the greatest literature.... tharese raquin, lady chatterly's lover, madame bovary, effi briest to name a few of my favorites...

but nothing mirrors our human behaviour closer than our closest relative the chimpanzees.. here we have the full range of sexual depravity, just very much like us humans. there are the normal sex, homosexuality, masturbation, incest, group sex, rapes, sex with mothers, with grand mothers with underaged babies, and probably their version of bestiality too, chimps screwing long tailed monkeys say,... but in all my viewing of animal planets and various natural history programmes of david attenborough, not once have i come across any reference to or animal versions of female obsession towards shoes and handbags....this is unique to female species of homo sapiens .


because you have read this far i will reward you with a bonus. a woodcut of a shunga (ukiyo-e, pictures from the floating world) by that famous shunga artist utamaro. (this is not pornography but a beautiful piece of erotic art, so i feel it is not out of place to post it here which is quite appropriate to the topic)....

She has the hots for you - your lady friend. Btw, is that a banana he's holding? Ah, that's erotic art. Haha. Rox
Somewhat enlightening.

Since you're on your drive to explain the world as it is, to women, perhaps you'd care to share why men (especially religious ones) are repulsed by their own sexuality?
crankshaft; (a very good nick for a lady I must say!)

...why men (especially religious ones) are repulsed by their own sexuality?

this is a very interesting Q. i may post an entry on this topic sometimes. because i have a theory why.

and btw, I posted a comment in your 27/6 blog entry
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