Saturday, April 04, 2009


theory of everything

stephen hawking is one of the most amazing human beings there is. permanently bound to a wheel chair and with a very sorry looking degenerating body eaten up by lou gehrig's disease, one would expect any person in that situation to give up the fight and ghost. any wheelchair bound malaysian with a broken leg would probably think of death and do nothing but watch cartoons all day. i would if i were in that position (god forbids). but dr hawking is made of an infinitely stronger stuff than that. he is the living proof against euthanasia and should put to shame all those people who think suicide is an attractive option to solve problems.

as far as i know dr hawkings doesn't spend his time watching cartoons (ok may be some) or think about suicide (ok, may be some) but he spends most of his time thinking about the secrets of the universe. he wanted to find a theory of everything. simply put , science has shown that the universe is governed by a few basic laws and made up of a few basic little particles that combine into bigger things. everything in the universe is basically the same thing arranged in different ways. a newt, jesus, you and me, even khairy jamaluddin or najib or monkeys, a plastic cup , a daffodil , the moon, the sun and stars are all made of the same thing . it's a matter of arrangement based ultimately on these few basic laws.

but stephen hawking found discrepencies between these few basic laws. einstein's theory of relativity can explain the workings of very large objects (moons, planets and stars) and little things (atoms, electrons and such) can be explained nicely by newton's quantum mechanics but the two theories fall apart at extreme ends of each other. quantum mechanic falls apart when describing the behaviour of very large objects and theory of relativity doesn't work at extremely small dimensions (quarks and stuff). this gets stephen hawking all worked up. which is a good thing for us less intelligent people. if dr hawking is a lot less intelligent and doesn't have the lou gehrig disease most likely he would be up and about and behave like an average person. he would probably go and play soccer or enter politics. but because he is wheelchair bound but with the brain power the size of this universe he spends his time trying to unlock the secret of the universe by uniting the theory of relativity and quantum mechanics. he wants to get a nice elegant equation to sum up the secret of the universe. he's been working at it tirelessly to this day and as far as i know- without much success.

but someone already attempted and showed in the journal of irreproducible results JIR "all theories proven in one graph". i must say i don't understand this graph at all but i used to subscribe to this very good 'scientific journal' and it's one of my favorites in my university days. certainly beats the journal of helminthology.

as they say the journey is the important thing and i hope one day he would find the answer. and perhaps then we will know why we are here and what for?. of course "what for" bit is quite subjective. especially if we take GOD/ALLAH out of the equation. and dr hawking thinks that we can safely rule out god in this. (basic laws about the universe does not need to factor in the creator). and so it's likely that we will continue to behave very interestingly irrespective of whether we know the secret of the universe and why we are here or not.

in fact one of the most fascinating behaviour to me is one exhibited by prostitutes.but not the clients. we all know why they go to prostitues:they just want non complicated sex but the route one goes to get uncomplicated sex are infinite and can be very interesting.

incidentally just now i was reading a back issue of my favorite maagazine SPECTATOR and in the back end 'your problem solved' section there is this funny question.

Q: I have a dear friend, a dear bumbling fool of the old school who occasionally is driven to use the services of a prostitute. In the past he always found them by looking out for immodestly dressed women who are standing in the street smoking with one leg against a wall. Now that so many of these women are in fact, lawyers who are just having a smoking break outside their office, I am concerned that he might get into serious trouble. How should I advice him?

P.R; London SW3.

and the answer is also quite original. but you have to go and look for yourself in The Spectator 29, September 2007.

and incidentally too, there is an article in the current the spectator magazine about that lady MP who used a little taxpayer's money to 'pay for porn'. hmmm...but this crime is minuscule if you know how some of our malaysian taxpayers' money is being spent by malaysin BN government. some even used it to go to disneyland. disneyland over porn? i choose porn anytime.

oh dear, i've digressed so far away now so i'll stop.

oh, what a teaser you are , greenbottle :-)

but if i remember well, the advice given is how to tell one from the other. i cannot remember what the answer is though. but i think it would be less than flattering to the lady lawyers.

if i am half-right, pray tell :-)

and when will we be hearing of your kazakhstan
kazakhstan hahaha!...

but i'm seriously considering visiting albania...stay tuned.
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